Emma Kaywin, a Brooklyn-based sexual health writer and activist, is here to calm your nerves and answer your questions. Q: My boyfriend has been talking to me about trying anal sex. I'm open to the idea, but I want to know more about it first. Like, do we need to use a condom if we're monogamous, or can I get infections if I don't?
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It will come as no surprise to frequent readers of this blog that I am a strong supporter of women who have not yet had vaginal sex choosing to retain their vaginal virginity indefinitely and go anal only before even trying vaginal. The more people who make the decision to go purely anal only, the faster that will happen, and the sooner an anal only generation will form. I say anal should be the new default! Women who want PIV should learn to live with the scarce treat of getting it when their partner feels like doing something extra special for them. Why the hell not? PIV has been the default for countless years. And for what reason!?
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As more couples explore this type of sex, understanding the risks, rewards, and proper strategy is important. According to the Centers for Disease Control CDC , anal sex is primarily growing in popularity with couples under age You might think of anal sex as anal penetration with a penis, but you have a few more options. Anal sex can also be performed with fingers or the tongue.
Which is a good thing! Women who've been there and done that say it's a welcome addition to their sexual repertoire. But just like you must walk before you can run, you must have some sort of anal foreplay before you go for the full monty of anal sex. Or, you know, you can do butt play and leave it at that forever, because it's your booty and you make the rules. You hopefully already know the basics: ALWAYS use lube, never put something that was in your butt in your mouth or vagina, and butt plugs are your friend.